There are some memories that will forever be stuck in your mind. No matter how hard you try to forget them, they will never disappear. You will relive the time you spent over and over whether you are sleeping or awake. It’s almost like a broken record. It continues to skip. The memories are like flashes. The more I think about the time that I spent with him, the more I realize that I will probably never be able to forget even if I want to. His black eyes and hair, the way he smiles… Everything that he did or said is a lasting memory to me. Even though we are a half a world apart, I cannot keep my mind from traveling all the way back to him. Reader, you may be wondering what was so significant about the man that I met that day, and why in the world I am not able to let go of my past. Let me tell the story of a couple whose fate was confused.
His and my story started when I was a young worker at an online advertising company. Looking back at that time, I was quite silly back then. I was always searching for that “fate” that I had always believed in. I thought that, one day, I would magically find my true love and that we’d be happy together forever.
“The red string of fate, also referred to as the red thread of destiny, red thread of fate, and other variants, is an East Asia belief originating from Chinese legend and is also used in Japanese legend. According to this myth, the gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of men and women who are destined to be soul mates and will one day marry each other. Often, in Japanese culture, it is thought to be tied around the little finger. According to Chinese legend, the deity in charge of "the red thread" is believed to be Yue Xia Lao (月下老) (often abbreviated to "Yuelao" [月老]), the old lunar matchmaker god who is also in charge of marriages. The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of time, place or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.” In the western culture, a similar concept to this is the term “soulmate.” Although the term “soulmate” isn’t always referring to the mythological sense, the original meaning is that two people can be two halfs of the same soul. Basically, finding your soulmate means finding your other half.
Another similar term is the “Yin and Yang” theory. The yin yang is "used to describe how polar or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn. Opposites thus only exist in relation to each other.” The Yin and Yang is much like relationships. For the most part, females are yin and males are yang. Yin beings are water elements. They are said to be “slow, soft, yielding, diffuse, cold, wet, and passive”, however there are things about water that are not described. Water can destroy houses and create valleys. Water can never truly be captured because it can change from a gas, to a liquid, and also to a solid. With water, life can be sustained, but without water, life will wither away. Water may be passive, but it never gives up until it reaches its destination. However, without that spark of “Yang”, water will not be able to change its form. “Yang, by contrast, is fast, hard, solid, focused, hot, dry, and aggressive.” What is not described about Yang, though, is that it can destroy things very easily. Once a spark ignites something, the Yang will spread. Although focused, Yang may end up going down the wrong path if it doesn’t have water to calm it down.
When I was young, I foolishly thought that fate was something that couldn’t be changed. I thought that what was meant to be would be. I thought that, if that person was my soul-mate, that we would end up together no matter what the circumstances were. Looking back at that time, I was very naïve. You see, fate is haphazard. Everyone’s fate is dependent upon or characterized by chance and whether or not you take that chance. Every day there are opportunities presented to you. Depending on whether you take the opportunity or not will lead you to a different set of opportunities. In the end, your fate changes daily depending on what you do and do not do.
If I did not enter that contest… If I missed my flight… If I hadn’t lost my bag… If I hadn’t met him… To this day, I wonder what would be different if none of those things happened. If things were different, would my fate have changed? In the end, there is no equation for a “happily ever after.” We cannot rely on chance or a specific plan in order to obtain happiness. The only thing we can do is to simply live without regrets. You must do whatever you can in order to obtain what you think is happiness and let chance decide your fate. You must do what you can when you can and not torture yourself if it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted to.
This is the story of my haphazard kind of fate. Actually, even though it doesn't seem like it would be, it's kind of a funny story. In fact, most would say it's almost unbelievable.
©SLR 2011
